Saturday, January 31, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

1. I love to use ellipses…

2. In high school I owned a huge Ford LTD (think old cop car). One night thirteen of us managed to fit in the car (bench seats, 6 in front, 7 in back) and went and “popped” Poppitz hill (Class of ’94 knows what I’m talking about). I remember sparks flying when the car hit the ground. Kids: Do not try this at home.

3. I am a complete slob sometimes, but I also have OCD when it comes to other people’s germs. (note numbers 4 and 5)

4. I do not eat the mints at restaurant cash registers. I call them “urine mints” because people don’t always wash their hands in the bathroom, then they touch the mints in the bowl. I saw a study one time that said mints by a restaurant cash register were the dirtiest thing in the place and were covered with urine and feces. I don’t care if they are in a wrapper, it’s gross. *shudder* This sometimes drives people crazy… yeah, Tory, I’m talking about you…urine mint eater!

5. I have a theory I call the “Ass-Face Theory” that revolves around public restrooms. You have to follow a multi-step process when washing hands and leaving a restroom.
A. get paper towels from dispenser and put them under your arm for later.
B. Wash hands (DO NOT shut off water)
C. Use paper towel that you have already procured to turn off water tap.
D. Use same paper towel to dispense more paper towels.
E. Use new paper towels to dry your hands (DO NOT throw them away yet)
F. Use paper towels to open any and all doors until you are out of the restroom.
If you do not follow any and all of these steps (in this order) you will have acquired “ass-face” and you might as well skip the middle man and put your face directly in a strangers…well, you know. Why would you touch your clean hands to the water tap when you KNOW people touched it with their dirty hands. Now you’re just exchanging your germs for theirs. GROSS!! *shudder* I also think you shouldn’t touch the towel dispenser with clean hands because people like me are touching it with dirty hands.

6. I really love fantasy and science fiction…a lot.

7. I haven’t listened to the radio in over two years (except Spirit FM), so I have no clue what music is popular. I’m okay just sticking with Journey, Elton John, Billy Joel and Abba.

8. I have a large personal bubble. I don’t like it when people get in my bubble and I really don’t like it when people (adults) hug me, even family.

9. I can talk to anybody (loudly and a lot), which makes it appear as if I am an extrovert. However, I would rather be home by myself. I seriously don’t mind being shut up in my house for three days without talking to, or seeing, anyone else.

10. I am the queen of one-dish meals and I rarely use a recipe.

11. I don’t like it when people talk about being stranded on a desert island. Desert implies that there is a lack of rainfall and/or life (think Sahara or Siberia); it does not mean that no one else is there. You could be stranded on a desert island with thousands of people on it, or you could be stranded on a deserted island by yourself.

12. If I had to pick one food to live off of for the rest of my life it would be pizza. There are a million ways you can fix it, with a million different toppings, and so it wouldn’t get that boring.

13. I use to have a job where I ran a jackhammer. I have also plowed snow, mowed right-of-ways, scraped dead animals off the road, ran a loader and shocked fish in streams and lakes to gather for scientific purposes.

14. I grew up on a farm. When I was young, our farm was one of the top farms for raising breading hogs (mostly Hampshire and York). We had our own auction barn and people came from all over to buy hogs. My grandparents even went to Japan in order to take hogs over there. After the hog market dropped, we had cattle and even raised dogs. I hated farm work (which I did all the time, about three hours of chores a day…more in the summer), but loved living on a farm.

15. I used to be skinny and really pretty. I wish I still was, but I’m too lazy to do much about it.

16. I often come home, or wake up, to find dead animals, or parts of dead animals, on the floors in my house. My cats have a cat door (no litter boxes!), and will bring dead animals in to eat. It’s gross. Sometimes the animals are not dead and then I have to chase around shrews and birds, usually in the middle of the night.

17. I have become addicted to blogging. I really wasn’t sure it would last, but it seams like it will.

18. I am completely okay with being single and I DO NOT want kids. However, I am completely in love with my niece and two nephews. I would do anything within my power for them. I think they are the cutest kids in the whole world, both in looks and in personality.

19. I have found a renewed passion in the Bible thanks to my brother. He is the best preacher I have ever heard. He preaches exegetically and that is what my soul has been craving. He goes through the Bible and explains it and brings it alive.

20. I teach American Literature, but my passion is British Literature.

21. I am a world-class procrastinator, especially if it is something that I don’t want to do. I will toss and turn all night thinking about all the things I should be doing. I do not work better under pressure, I just put things off because I dread doing them.

22. I am addicted to Strawberry Chapstick. I have to have it with me all the time, and there is chapstick all over the house.

23. I watch way too much television (thank God for Tivo). I have a weakness for forensic shows, medical shows and reality TV (even though much of it isn’t real).

24. I watch Bill O’Reilly every day. I love entering the No Spin Zone.

25. I love to read, transporting myself to another world. If I was stranded on a deserted island, I would be okay as long as I was stranded with either a library or a solar powered Kindle. I read everyday, even if it is only for five minutes.


Morgan said...

Hey, it's Stacy, your twitter friend. It's amazing reading this because these are the numbers that could describe me perfectly:
5(& I totally get made fun of for this),
7(No music radio, but talk radio 24/7; love Billy Joel, Elton John, too)
LOVE #11, and although I haven't considered that misspeak in particular, there are many others and I can relate.
24--I spend a lot of time in the No Spin Zone
25 (non-fiction, mostly)

And I just bet that you are one of the few people who are as torn up as I about the passing of Paul Harvey.

Smalltown Girl said...

@Morgan (Stacy) - I love knowing that other people have some of the same idiosyncrasies that I do.

slithy-toves said...

hahaha I saw that same after-dinner mints study and have never looked at a bowl of mints the same way since... :)

The Margin Wight said...

Why go to all that trouble with the paper towels? What I do is roll down the towels first, then turn on the water, wash hands, then dry and with the wet towels turn off the water, open the door, tossing the towel into the trash can if it is convenient or behind the door if it isn't. What I hate is when the managerial morons put the trash can right beneath the towel dispenser so the clean towel (i.e., enough to do the drying job) hangs down into or onto the trash. Ugh. I never eat the mints and restaurants either. But once -- you'll be disgusted -- I was in Moscow (Russia) back in the 80s and I drank from a public soda machine. They had these gazovaya voda dispensers. A glass glass was in the slot, you put a coin in, the beverage dispenses into the glass glass. You drink, then you put the glass back, press the rinse button and a jet of water rinses out the glass so it is ready for the next customer. I was young and foolish. I'd never do that now, not in today's Russia -- thankfully, I believe they've discontinued that particular product delivery system.

Smalltown Girl said...

@ Margin Wight - Just saw your comment, even though it is over a year later... The reason I take the paper towels first, then get more later is in case someone comes up and steals the paper towels hanging from the dispenser. If I'm alone, I often use the same method you do. And yes, I am slightly turned off even thinking about drinking from the same glass as strangers!