At 34-years-old, being single is a little bit different than it would be if I was 10 years younger. For some, 34 would be more depressing; they would probably be more desperate for a date/mate and would probably be tired of the looks of pity from their married friends. For me, I am content. If God chooses to drop the perfect guy for me right on my doorstep, I'm willing to give it a shot, but I don't go looking for dates or worry about being an old maid. However, even though I might be perfectly happy being single, there are always a few things that being a part of a couple would make easier...
I am currently staying at my best friend's house in NC. I am so glad to be here, but being single does make a few things more difficult. First of all, it was a long trip...even though I managed to make it halfway across the country in record time. I kept myself busy by listening to two audio books. I started out with Nicholas Sparks' The Guardian, and finished up the trip with Kathy Griffin's book, Official Book Club Selection (quite the variety, I know). I am, however, under no disillusionment that the drive would have been more fun if I had someone to ride with me (assuming I got along with that person...we're not talking about just anyone here).
Another minor consideration is that my bestie is still pretty much a newlywed. Since I haven't seen her in a long time, I forget how her and her husband act around each other. There's nothing wrong with it, and it is cute, but it does make me feel like a third wheel sometimes (only when they are being all lovey-dovey though). I am sure the situation would feel more normal if it was two couples hanging out together instead of a couple and a single person. Even a group dynamic would be quite different.
This has been one of the main issues I have with being single at my age. Almost all of my good friends are married. Most have kids. It may be wrong, but for the most part I just assume they don't want to hang out with me anymore. While that might not be true, I still find that relationships aren't quite the same after someone gets married.
While I don't like being the third-wheel, I don't think it is a good reason to feel forced into finding "Mr. Right".
So I'm just wondering how other singles feel in similar situations. How do you deal with it? Have you lost friends when they marry?
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1 comment:
Im still young enough to have only one of my good friends that is married...and I met them as a couple so her and her husband are married. I personally have been doing a ton of research into life as a single person and the stigmas it comes with and I think its unfortunately true that we are treated differently because we are single. You should check out this blog http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/
Her book "Singled Out" by Bella DePaulo is a great read too.
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