PETA Can Kiss My Dead Opossum!

Last night I was thinking about how I've been blogging and tweeting about shooting opossums. This really isn't a big deal around here. Everyone has to deal with critters/varmints (whatever you want to call them). Having said that, I am sure there are a number of people out there who think I shouldn't be shooting these opossums. In fact, I keep waiting for one of them to make a snide comment about it.

Time out: I just had to take a shot at a raccoon that was on my back deck. For all my adventures with raccoons, check my past posts... By the way, I got a shot off, but it is going to take more than one shot from my 22 take take down a boar coon (unless I were to get it in just the right spot, and I'm not that good of a shot when the target is moving).

Back to the opossums...

I'm not going to get into how ridiculous I think PETA is, but I will say that if one of them had an opossum coming into their house and pooping all over the place, I'm pretty sure they would change their mind about letting the rodents be.

And for those who would say that having opossums get into your house is what happens when man encroaches into the animals' territory, let me say that that is a bunch of hooey. My house has been here for 10 years. Prior to that, this was a field, and has been since the early 60s. There are hundreds of acres of woods surrounding my house for the opossums (and raccoons) to hang out. Opossums do not need to set up house under my house!

So PETA can kiss my dead opossum!

The Highway Department is Trying to Kill Me

I really think that our local highway department is trying to kill me. This is the view out of my car looking down the highway from the direction in which speeding cars may be approaching. Can you see very far down the road? Neither can I. When they mow the right of way, they only mow one mower width from the road. I would hate for them to use any gear on their tractors other than 4th gear. I would hate for them to use something like, oh, let's say...REVERSE!

I used to work for the highway department (in a different town), and I've mowed my fair share of right of ways...you are supposed to mow the grass on either side of an approach so people can actually see if a car is speeding down the road at them or not. The only way my approach gets mowed is if my dad hooks up the brush-hog and does it himself...IT'S NOT HIS JOB!

It's ridiculous. I have to actually pull so far forward that the front of my car is IN THE ROAD if I want to be able to tell if someone is coming or not.

So, I conclude: the highway department is obviously trying to kill me!

Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

Stupid Satellite Internet

I'm so tired of having to live with sub-par internet because I choose to live in the country. I already pay over twice what the average person pays for internet, but if I want speeds even close to what my "townie" friends have, I have to pay around $90 a month. That's ridiculous. Then there's the fact that less than two miles down the road, they have DSL (which is the fastest thing an average person can get around here).

Things I cannot do because of my slow, high-speed internet:

1. Watch Hulu
2. Watch Netflix Instant movies. I do use it to watch TV episodes, but have to do it in 5 minute intervals to allow for buffering.
3. Play online games
4. Pretty much anything I couldn't do with dial up.

Now it's a lot faster than dial up, but the only thing outside of surfing that I can do now, that I couldn't do with dial up, is watch short (under 5 min) videos, and I can now download music, etc.

Where is the justice? I am such a techno junkie, but I feel so behind when it comes to internet technology because of my slow internet speed. It's a major handicap when it comes to keeping up with what is going on out on the web.

The HD Dilemma

I'm really wanting to upgrade to HD. I'm finding this to be a bigger deal than I had originally thought it would be. Here's the break down...

• If I upgrade to HD, I have to get a new DirecTV satellite box (and satellite dish).
  
• I refuse to give up my Tivo.
  
• DirecTV only has a DVR that works with HD. DVRs are NOT THE SAME as Tivo. If you've never had Tivo, you won't understand (it's kind of like how PC people don't understand how great Macs are if they haven't ever owned one).
  
• Tivo's HD box does not work with satellite service, just cable (I was just going to do that, but found out it wouldn't work).
• DirecTV and Tivo are partnering on an HD DirecTV Tivo box (Yippy!), but rumors of it coming out in the second half of 2009 have been pushed back to early 2010 (boo!). Will it be pushed back again? How long must I wait?
  
• If I go to HD, I want to also get surround sound (again...have already gone through 2 systems and haven't had it for around 3 years now *sigh*). Most surround sound systems now come with a DVD player in the receiver. That sounds good, but...
  
• I need a DVD recorder. I'm actually in the market for one right now because my current one has stopped playing DVDs. If I get a surround sound with a DVD player, how am I going to record shows onto a DVD? I don't want to have a DVD recorder hooked up to a DVD player, that's just stupid (and redundant).

So, I'm thinking of doing a little bit more research, save up some money, and wait out the DirecTV HD Tivo box. I was hoping to get the system this summer with my summer school paycheck, but I should probably be responsible and put that toward a bill. I don't need any of the upgrades (just a new DVD recorder), so nothing has to be done right now. Plus, prices will most likely continue to fall and quality will get better and better on the HD TVs (yeah, I don't even have one yet, it is part of the big expense).

The thing is, I'm single and live alone. I'm a HUGE entertainment freak. I have the TV on all the time (even if I'm not really paying attention and it's just for company). Spending money on a good entertainment system is not something I think is stupid or wasteful because I will definitely get my money's worth. I just want to wait and get the best set up for me.

Let me know if you have any grand ideas!

What One Student Thinks About Me

Apparently, I am "a jerk" and I "have the worst attitude in the school" according to one of my students.

How do I know this? Because the student wrote it down in his literary analysis (which, incidentally, was not a literary analysis, but a hate letter). And turned it in! I am also, "cool outside of school", but "stuck up in school."

The student goes on to say that I "never helped [them] with an assignment [they] always had to come in for tutoring which is bullcrap [they] all have jobs and lives to live." (note: the grammar mistakes are the students)

Here is my response:

Thank you for your impute. I highly value your opinion as a hard working student. Next year, I will definitely take into account everything you so eloquently said when students who chose not to pay attention in my class decide (at the last minute) that they do not understand an assignment. You are right of course, I should drop everything, change the entire class syllabus and re-teach lessons that I've already taught, and have passed out handouts for, when students don't pay attention in class the first time (or second or third time)...instead of asking them to come to tutoring for individual instruction. You have changed my entire teaching philosophy.

Of course, I have not (and will not) give this response to the student, but it sure felt good writing that out. The student in question is a major burn-out. He is probably high most of the days he is in school. He hardly ever pays attention in class, but the main reason I think he was so mad at me was because I caught him plagiarizing his last literary analysis. I warned him that I didn't believe it was his words when I read the rough draft... sure enough, when I ran it through plagiarism software, it found multiple web sites that he took the information from word-for word. Sadly, the assignment was make-up work for an analysis that he chose not to do earlier in the year. I was trying to help him raise his grade so he could get off of probation. Silly me. Bending over backwards to help a student...

I am constantly amazed by how some students are able to make everything the teacher's fault. I have heard multiple kids say the reason they are in trouble is the teacher's fault. I asked one student why he was in ISS (in school suspension), and he said it was the teacher's fault. Apparently the teacher caught him chewing tobacco in class. I asked how that was the teacher's fault, and he said the teacher shouldn't have been looking. Seriously?

What is happening to the youth of today?

Unecessary Meetings

So here I sit...in a useless meeting. It's one of those 'Cafeteria Plan' meetings. I have no intention of signing up for this plan, but we were told we had to come to the meeting. Don't think I didn't ask!



Here's the rub...I'm looking around the room and not all the teachers are even here. How come I have to show up? I shouldn't have asked. I should have just left and went grocery shopping like I planned on doing. I could have been home by now and on my way to the store!



I can't decide how many of these people have glazed looks on their faces and how many are actually paying attention. I DO know that I'm not the only one on my Blackberry!



I wish this guy would stop telling side stories. I don't care how he took his whole family to the chiropractor or how his kids have braces and that's how he uses his flex plan.



There is an interesting graphic on the screen of a piggy bank with dollars coming out the top because people have saved sooooo much money. Oddly enough...only pennies are dropping from the sky and going into the bank.



Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

CG'pa And The Computer

We've already established that my CG'pa is crazy. If you don't believe me, read this. I had one of those conversations with him the other day. It went something like this:

Me: hello?

CG'pa: I called because I needed to talk to someone smart. (there's always sucking up involved in these types of requests)

Me: uh-huh. At this point just about everything I say is short and slightly sarcastic. WAY... disrespectful, but this has been going on my whole life and I just don't have the patience for it anymore.

CG'pa: I need to put something on my computer.

Me: What do you mean "you need to put something on your computer"?

CG'pa: I've got a document that needs to be put on my computer.

Me: Where is the document now?

CG'pa: In my hand. It's a letter.

At this point I became totally dismayed. This was going to require a scanner. I wasn't even sure if the man would know what a scanner was. I told him he would need a scanner, and surprisingly he owns one. Go figure.

The problem is, the man has no idea how to use a scanner...or a computer. The next five minutes were spent trying to talk him through how to scan his letter. Scanning it wasn't the issue though. It was how to save the scan into the "program" that he wanted it saved into. I'm pretty sure by "program" he meant "folder".

Me: Now you need to go to File, Save, and then just choose where you want to save it.

CG'pa: Wait, slow down. Where do I find File?

Me: It's at the top. On the left.

CG'pa: Long pause... Okay, so I don't see the program I want to save the letter into. It's called Test.

Now I knew we were in trouble. There was no way I was driving over there (even though it's only 2 miles away) to figure this out for him. An 81 year-old man shouldn't have a computer if he doesn't know how to use it. Like I knew what Test meant. Was it a folder? Was it a file? I couldn't ask these questions because he wouldn't know what a folder or a file was. All he knows are "programs" and "documents".

Me: What options do you see when you click Save?

CG'pa: All kinds of things. Then he rattles off a list that doesn't sound anything like what he should be seeing.

Me: Do you see Desktop as an option? I'm thinking maybe he can save there and then drag it to Test (whatever that is).

CG'pa: Desktop?

Me: How about your C-drive. Do you see that?

CG'pa: Uhhhhhh... Yeah. CD. I see it.

Me: NOOOO... Not CD. C-drive. Nevermind. Can you see My Documents.

CG'pa: Long pause. Yeah. Oh, I found it. There's test. This actually occured after a discussion about what My Documents was.

Me: Okay good. Put it in there.

CG'pa: It worked. Thanks.

Me: Okay... preparing to hang up.

CG'pa: Wait. I want to make sure I did this right.

And then we started all over again. "I can't find Test." "Where's that My Documents thing?" And so on and so on. I felt like that children's song: "There's a Hole in the Bucket". He couldn't seem to do it again, and I finally told him I couldn't really do much more over the phone because I had no clue what was on his computer. I think I also threw in something about PC vs. Mac.

Do you want to know the really remarkable thing about this whole conversation? My CG'pa actually wrote a computer manual once. Yep. I'm pretty sure he plagiarized the whole thing because he never has had a clue how to use a computer. He writes books. About anything and everything. And pays to have them printed. It's a little embarassing.

Do you have family members like this?

Just Another Reason to Hate PC's

I had someone say that my font was difficult to read on my new background. I couldn't quite understand because it looked fine to me, but I changed the colors around a little, making them darker, etc. Now I know why I didn't see the problem...

Everything looks great and easy to read on my Mac, but when I checked it on a PC... Not awesome at all. Stupid PC's are still wrecking my world even though I don't own one.

The background is MUCH brighter (making the font harder to read) and the font looks so much different. It's like the difference between a fine point pen and a felt tip marker.

What's up with that? Stupid PC's.

Toddlers & Tiaras

Notice how the girl on the left is giving the winner the "evil eye"? Also, the girl on the right was on the episode I watched and she was a spoiled hellion! She kept yelling at her dad to "shut up" and he did nothing!

So I was watching Toddlers & Tiaras today. I’d never seen this particular show before, but I’ll admit it…I’m fascinated by the craziness that surrounds these kids’ pageants.

First of all…the majority of these mothers are not lookers. At All! And…they usually come from lower-class families. Trailer-living, buck-toothed mothers… I seriously can’t get enough of watching this. It’s like watching a circus…in my own home! I just find this fascinating. It’s as if they are living vicariously through their kids. You can practically hear there thoughts: "No one ever told me I was pretty...but by gosh, my daughter will be told she's pretty!"

One mom of a seven year old kept saying things like, “her aunt lets her shave her legs” and “her aunt lets her get highlights in her hair” and then has the nerve to say that she thinks her daughter is too young for these things…You’re the mom! Don’t let her do it!

Another mom chose to put her daughter in pageants before she was even born! It’s not like she even knew if her kid was going to be cute or not. This is the girl on the right in the above photo. Remember the spoiled hellion!?! Yep, that's her.

It’s ridiculous. Put enough make-up, fake eyelashes, fake teeth (yes, teeth!), hair extensions, spray tans and expensive dresses on a kid and they’re probably going to pass for cute…no matter what they look like without all the beauty products.

Of course we all know that these people are just paying for the titles, trophies and tiaras. Those kids always come out with some sort of title. When there are only four girls in a category, they’re all going to win something. In fact, most of them win multiple titles by entering just one pageant. It’s all ridiculous. And, oh…how mad the parents are when their kid doesn’t win a major title...

But my FAVORITE part about watching these types of shows is when they show the mom. She’s always standing right behind the judges doing all the moves that her daughter is doing. It’s hilarious to see these grown women making the weirdest moves.

Am I crazy to find this insanity so fascinating?

Shopping While Sick and Annoying Parents

I went to the grocery store today because I stayed home sick with bronchitis and thought I'd take advantage of the ability to shop at a time other than the weekend. I really shouldn't have gone because I ended up feeling much worse after the outing, but I had planned on making it a short trip for a few much needed items (like milk and cat food).

I found the store to be pretty busy for a Tuesday morning, but as I neared the end of my shopping, the store seamed to clear out. I figured out why when I made it up to the checkouts. The store had cleared out because everyone was at the checkouts. It was terrible. I've spent less time in line on a Saturday afternoon!

But to the real reason I'm writing this...

I was in line in front of one of those parents that pretend to punish their kids but really don't. This lady had an infant and a toddler with her. Her boy was around the age of three. He kept standing up in the cart and touching things. Part of the time he was touching the stuff I was buying. She kept telling him to Stop, Sit Down, Stop That, Don't Touch Things, etc., etc. It was all very annoying. You could tell that she was one of those parents that barks orders at her kid, but never follows through with any real punishments. The kid sure wasn't afraid of any retribution from disobeying his mother.

I found this all very frustrating. If people are not going to follow through with an actual punishment, then don't bother chastising your child. What's the point? The kids figure out real fast that they don't actually have to do what their parent says.

Do you ever find yourself annoyed by things like this?

Happy Snowy, Sick Birthday To Me!

I'm pretty sick today and wasn't sure I was going to post anything, but I haven't had a day without a post in so long, I just couldn't do it.

Here's the most important stuff to me right now.

I've got a cold: coughing, runny/stuffed up nose (not sure how that can happen, but it does) and a sore throat. I actually took some of the night time meds and took a nap sitting up in my chair this afternoon. I managed to get in about 3 hours of sleep!

It's been snowing all day long. We've gotten about 6 inches of snow, but I haven't been out there to formally measure it. I cleaned off the porches (front and back) earlier today and there was around 2 inches; then I went back about an hour later and there was another 3 inches out there. I'd say we've gotten around another inch since then, We don't normally get just snow. Usually we get freezing rain and/or sleet mixed in with our snow, so this is a nice change.

Here's the view out my back porch this afternoon.

Oh, and to top it all off...it's my birthday. Sort of. I'm a leap year baby, so I don't have a birthday this year. I celebrate on the 28th of February. I've always said that I was born the last day of February, so my friends usually celebrate on that day. My family, however, celebrates on March 1st. My mom says that if it hadn't been Leap Year, I would have been born March 1st, but as far as I'm concerned I was born in February, so I'll celebrate in February. It doesn't help that my CG'pa's birthday is also February 29th. They were all used to celebrating on 3/1 with him, so... Anyway, they're all over at the CG'parents' house having a birthday party while I'm home. Don't feel sorry for me though...I always hate having to go to those things...even my own birthday party.

My Pet Peeves

• I hate it when people say anyways, that is not a word...there is no S, it is anyway.
• A new one that is starting to drive me nuts is libary. Also, no such word. Some of my students say it that way, and I've even gone to the board and spelled it for them libRary. They say it's the same thing. I tell them one is a word and represents the room full of books they are asking to go to and the other is not a word and doesn't exist. (I couldn’t believe it, but I saw a 60 Minutes reporter say this on O’Reilly the other day)
• On my 25 Random Things post, I already mentioned my problem with the whole desert island thing.
• People who don't wash their hands when they go to the bathroom. Check out 25 Random Things for more info.
• I have a lot of pet peeves that have to do with bad driving. Number one is people that drive in the left lane of a 4-lane road. You aren't in England…get over. The left lane is just for passing and now I'm going to have to pass you on the right...which I'm pretty sure is a no-no. I also really hate it when people tail-gate…Brake Check!!
• I hate that lots of people pronounce Alzheimers as Old-Timers (Altimers). I even heard someone in a commercial for an Alzheimers support group pronounce it Altimers. Come on.
• Blue tooth earpieces. I am tired of being in an aisle at Wal-Mart and thinking some lady is talking to me, only to turn around and realize she’s got one of the earpieces in (usually covered with her hair, which is why I didn’t notice it in the first place). You are not that important! Truck drivers need it; use it while you’re driving…you do not need it to go shopping.
• Students who sleep in my class and then are all indignant when they have a 12%
• I hate it when characters in movies and TV shows walk into a house and NEVER shut the door. What’s up with that?
• I hate it when characters in movies and TV shows drink coffee out of cups that are obviously empty, even thought they just bought it. This used to drive me crazy when watching Gilmore Girls.
• I can’t stand it when people feel that proper English is not important when they are blogging or commenting on a blog post. No expects you to be perfect, but you should at least capitalize words at the beginning of a sentence and proper nouns. (Check out my post about this and more blogging issues).
• LOL – I think it is WAY over used and no longer has the same connotation. I don’t think people are really laughing out loud when they write LOL, especially if they use it after every sentence.

I am sure I will think of a bunch more as soon as I post this. Be on the lookout for Pet Peeves vol. 2

Why I'm Going To Be Mad For The Next 3 Weeks...

The following is most definitely a rant. Read at your own risk.

I am soooo... mad right now. I noticed today that I was not getting any of my local channels (NBC, CBS, Fox, ABC). I noticed this because I was going to set my Tivo to record the Super Bowl so I could watch the commercials. No locals. Okay...so I decided to reset the DirecTV receiver. It usually works. Ha ha. Not this time. I get home from church and there are still no locals. So I call DirecTV.

First I get some chick in India who says her name is Nell. Yeah right. She has to transfer me to a technician. Yay...we're back in America.

Side Note: You need to realize that I no longer have a landline and so I'm on my cell the whole time without very good reception.

Lady #2 (Savanna?) tells me that it is the satellite and they will have to replace it. Currently I have two satellites, one for regular channels and one for locals. Apparently they now have a new HDTV satellite that will run both locals and regular channels. Sign me up!

Hold your horses... First of all they can't come out until the 21st. THREE WEEKS AWAY!!! As if that is not bad enough, I find out that they will have to replace my receiver and the new one is a DVR receiver, not Tivo. More on that in a minute. So this doesn't take much time to explain, but took the lady around 40 minutes to do...AND...she kept putting me on hold for 10 minutes at a time. She said she had the work order set up and then she was going to check on the Tivo thing because I was NOT happy about losing Tivo. WE GOT CUT OFF!!! There's no way to get back to the same person again. I waited a few minutes to see if she would call me back and then decided to go ahead and call DirecTV again.

So I get a whole new lady (luckily we're still in America). I have to START ALL OVER AGAIN! She said there was no way to find out who I had been talking to. (What?) To her credit, lady #3 did not take as long to do all this. Come to find out, lady #2 had NOT set up the work order, so I had to do that all over again (didn't take as long this time). AND...I found out that if I wanted my local channels back, I had to switch to a DVR receiver. I was NOT happy to say the least.

At this point I’m really wondering what lady #2 was doing the whole time we were on the phone. She seemed helpful, but in retrospect was probably taking 10 minute coffee breaks to complain to her co-workers about how much her job sucks.

I apologized for being short with lady #3. I told her that I was stressed because I had already been on the phone for an hour and I had to start over. I didn't want her to think I was a jerk, plus you usually get more if you're nice and I was about to ask for some kind of compensation for losing my locals for 3 weeks. I got $5 off for the next 3 months...woopee.

About the Tivo thing: Tivo is awesome. Tivo is not the same as regular DVR. If you have never had Tivo, I'm sure you think your DVR is awesome...it is not. Tivos are smart. They learn what you like. I will come home and my Tivo has recorded something that I didn't ask it to just because it thinks I might like it. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I am very grateful to Tivo for showing me a new program. I also don't have to set up 100s of season passes to obscure shows. I just give something a thumbs up and Tivo will record it if there's space and nothing else is recording. I don't have a season pass to How Clean Is Your House, but I watch it sometimes because sometimes Tivo will record it for me. This is all important to me because I do not watch live TV...ever. I always watch something that is recorded so I can fast forward through commercials. I don't do commercials. If I really want to watch something, I still wait at least 15-20 minutes for it to record so I can FF through commercials. Tivo is great. I am VERY upset about this.

Also, I will now be missing many of my favorite shows. For example: House, Grey's Anatomy, Numb3rs...and AMERICAN IDOL!! I guess I will have to try to watch the ones I can't live without on the internet, but my connection is not that fast. This is going to be a pain. Also, you usually have to wait a day to watch anything like that. AND...I have to go through and set up all new season passes on the new receiver once I get it.

Please feel sorry for me and realize that I might be a little on the aggravated side for the next 3 weeks (probably longer because I'll have to get use to the DVR).

25 Random Things About Me

1. I love to use ellipses…

2. In high school I owned a huge Ford LTD (think old cop car). One night thirteen of us managed to fit in the car (bench seats, 6 in front, 7 in back) and went and “popped” Poppitz hill (Class of ’94 knows what I’m talking about). I remember sparks flying when the car hit the ground. Kids: Do not try this at home.

3. I am a complete slob sometimes, but I also have OCD when it comes to other people’s germs. (note numbers 4 and 5)

4. I do not eat the mints at restaurant cash registers. I call them “urine mints” because people don’t always wash their hands in the bathroom, then they touch the mints in the bowl. I saw a study one time that said mints by a restaurant cash register were the dirtiest thing in the place and were covered with urine and feces. I don’t care if they are in a wrapper, it’s gross. *shudder* This sometimes drives people crazy… yeah, Tory, I’m talking about you…urine mint eater!

5. I have a theory I call the “Ass-Face Theory” that revolves around public restrooms. You have to follow a multi-step process when washing hands and leaving a restroom.
A. get paper towels from dispenser and put them under your arm for later.
B. Wash hands (DO NOT shut off water)
C. Use paper towel that you have already procured to turn off water tap.
D. Use same paper towel to dispense more paper towels.
E. Use new paper towels to dry your hands (DO NOT throw them away yet)
F. Use paper towels to open any and all doors until you are out of the restroom.
If you do not follow any and all of these steps (in this order) you will have acquired “ass-face” and you might as well skip the middle man and put your face directly in a strangers…well, you know. Why would you touch your clean hands to the water tap when you KNOW people touched it with their dirty hands. Now you’re just exchanging your germs for theirs. GROSS!! *shudder* I also think you shouldn’t touch the towel dispenser with clean hands because people like me are touching it with dirty hands.

6. I really love fantasy and science fiction…a lot.

7. I haven’t listened to the radio in over two years (except Spirit FM), so I have no clue what music is popular. I’m okay just sticking with Journey, Elton John, Billy Joel and Abba.

8. I have a large personal bubble. I don’t like it when people get in my bubble and I really don’t like it when people (adults) hug me, even family.

9. I can talk to anybody (loudly and a lot), which makes it appear as if I am an extrovert. However, I would rather be home by myself. I seriously don’t mind being shut up in my house for three days without talking to, or seeing, anyone else.

10. I am the queen of one-dish meals and I rarely use a recipe.

11. I don’t like it when people talk about being stranded on a desert island. Desert implies that there is a lack of rainfall and/or life (think Sahara or Siberia); it does not mean that no one else is there. You could be stranded on a desert island with thousands of people on it, or you could be stranded on a deserted island by yourself.

12. If I had to pick one food to live off of for the rest of my life it would be pizza. There are a million ways you can fix it, with a million different toppings, and so it wouldn’t get that boring.

13. I use to have a job where I ran a jackhammer. I have also plowed snow, mowed right-of-ways, scraped dead animals off the road, ran a loader and shocked fish in streams and lakes to gather for scientific purposes.

14. I grew up on a farm. When I was young, our farm was one of the top farms for raising breading hogs (mostly Hampshire and York). We had our own auction barn and people came from all over to buy hogs. My grandparents even went to Japan in order to take hogs over there. After the hog market dropped, we had cattle and even raised dogs. I hated farm work (which I did all the time, about three hours of chores a day…more in the summer), but loved living on a farm.

15. I used to be skinny and really pretty. I wish I still was, but I’m too lazy to do much about it.

16. I often come home, or wake up, to find dead animals, or parts of dead animals, on the floors in my house. My cats have a cat door (no litter boxes!), and will bring dead animals in to eat. It’s gross. Sometimes the animals are not dead and then I have to chase around shrews and birds, usually in the middle of the night.

17. I have become addicted to blogging. I really wasn’t sure it would last, but it seams like it will.

18. I am completely okay with being single and I DO NOT want kids. However, I am completely in love with my niece and two nephews. I would do anything within my power for them. I think they are the cutest kids in the whole world, both in looks and in personality.

19. I have found a renewed passion in the Bible thanks to my brother. He is the best preacher I have ever heard. He preaches exegetically and that is what my soul has been craving. He goes through the Bible and explains it and brings it alive.

20. I teach American Literature, but my passion is British Literature.

21. I am a world-class procrastinator, especially if it is something that I don’t want to do. I will toss and turn all night thinking about all the things I should be doing. I do not work better under pressure, I just put things off because I dread doing them.

22. I am addicted to Strawberry Chapstick. I have to have it with me all the time, and there is chapstick all over the house.

23. I watch way too much television (thank God for Tivo). I have a weakness for forensic shows, medical shows and reality TV (even though much of it isn’t real).

24. I watch Bill O’Reilly every day. I love entering the No Spin Zone.

25. I love to read, transporting myself to another world. If I was stranded on a deserted island, I would be okay as long as I was stranded with either a library or a solar powered Kindle. I read everyday, even if it is only for five minutes.

AI in San Juan and NYC

I watch AI with my MacBook on my lap in order to catch all my thoughts while the auditions are rolling. Luckily, I have Tivo, so I can pause at any time. Maybe it’s a little crazy to do that, but I do, so there.

We started off in typical AI fashion with a heart-wrenching story about a girl who resigned from her job because she believed in herself and her ability to sing (okay, it wasn’t a long story, but still) boo-hoo-hoo. Simon offered to call her boss to help her get her job back. Yep, she was that bad. I can’t believe he actually did it, but he did and luckily the girl got her job back because like Kara said, she needs to keep her day job.

Jessika, the singing contest winner… who was terrible. She was screechy. I guess if you enter 700 singing contests, you’re bound to win a few. Doesn’t mean you can actually sing. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

The singing nudist, Melinda. At least she could actually sing…hope she keeps her clothes on in Hollywood. Mostly, I hope Randy keeps his clothes on!

Melinda the Nudist

I can’t believe the windows fell down behind the judges…and they just kept going! I guess they really wanted to get home… I know I was ready for the show to be over.

I loved the Wicked Games montage. Hilarious. “Please, please, please…”

I was sincerely scared of the “Crazy Rocker”. If he came up to me in the streets screaming like that, I would be frightened.

I am so with Simon about the comedy crap. These people are not funny, they never get picked, why do they continue to do it? I think that it is AI’s fault for putting them on the air. These people wouldn’t continue to show up if they didn’t think they would get on the air. However, Norman was pretty funny, but I can’t believe they sent him to Hollywood. I guess it’s a little comic relief for the first round of HW…I’m sure we’ll need it.

Norman the "Comic"

I did think the little 16 year-old was cute and an okay singer. Her little brother’s plea for her was probably what pushed the judges over the edge and helped her get through (it’s always good to bring your own cute kid and/or dog). I agreed that her voice was not mature enough and I don’t think she’ll make it very far, but I thought it was good of them to send her on to Hollywood. I think it’ll give her a little experience in the music biz and she can see if it is really for her.

It’s time to start reading one of my favorite American Idol blogs…Vote for the Worst.com. Although I don’t agree with the idea of voting for the worst singer, I love reading the comments and reviews and especially the nicknames they give the contestants. My favorite from last year was David Archuleta’s nickname: Gaspy. It was just so true. Prof. Chan is probably my favorite contributor. He’s mean, and it’s hilarious. They are worth a stop if you haven’t done so yet. They claim to have received a list of the top 36 already and say they are pretty sure that it is real.

Small Town Blues

I started this Tuesday when the winter storm was in full force…

I’m really frustrated right now. I am typing on Word because my internet is acting up. I have satellite internet, due to living in the middle of nowhere, and it is not working very well due to the winter storm that is still going on. I can get onto pages that have loaded before, but it is not letting me log into, or post onto, Blogger. *gggrrrrrr* I already have one post that I finished last night and couldn’t ever get Blogger to load up and post, so I had to copy and paste it into Word.

My Wild Blue satellite covered in ice. It was much worse before this picture was taken.

Don’t get me wrong…I’m thankful that I still have power; I just wish if I had power, that I had internet access as well.

Let me complain about living in a small town just a little bit. As I’ve said before, I love living in a small town, but I hate the lack of technological access out here in the sticks. It is impossible for me to get high speed internet any other way than through satellite internet. The satellite is so much better than dial up, there’s no question about that, but it costs more than most people pay for Cable or DSL, it’s slower and I don’t get to use as much bandwidth as I want. Currently, I am paying $56 a month for the honor of having satellite internet and I’m going to have to upgrade to a higher package because I am using the internet too much. Seriously. I will then be paying over $70 a month for my internet. This is ridiculous. I have to do it though because it will double my speed (from 512kb to 1mb) and I will go from 7,000mb of download to 12,000mb of download. Maybe I’ll be able to watch videos over the internet!

So I guess the price I pay for getting to live in the country is $70 a month in internet fees, higher gas bill because of drive time to everywhere (although I realize a lot of people that live in the burbs and work in the city also have long commutes), and having to drive 100 miles to get to the nearest mall.

Yep…100 miles to the nearest mall. I mean real mall, not a strip mall with four stores in it. That’s because the nearest city is 100 miles away. I went the day after Christmas, but before that it had been June! When I go, I make sure I hit Barnes and Noble and enjoy their Starbucks while skimming through a book or two.

I live in the country 8 miles from my hometown (pop around 2,500) and 10 miles from the town I work in (pop is about the same). For any real grocery shopping, I have to go to the nearest “big” town that’s around 20 miles away (pop 10,000); it has a super center (Wal-Mart with groceries). The town I work in has quite a bit of stuff considering the population is so small, that is because a major highway runs right through it, and they have quite a few travelers stop by because it had been so long since the travelers have gone through a town with any amenities. We have a couple of Pizza places, Blimpie, Subway, McDonalds, Sonic, and the new Taco Bell/KFC. There is a Wal-Mart there, but it is so small that it is practically useless unless you want toothpaste or toilet paper. Oh, and they recently acquired a theater with Three (count them…three) different movies playing at a time!

You should realize that small town populations are not very indicative of how many people actually consider that town their hometown. There are usually more people that live in the rural areas around a small town than actually live within the “city” limits. Only those living within the town’s limits are actually counted in the population.

These are a few of my small town blues, however, I love living in a small town, so stay tuned for a post on all the great things about living in a small town!

Ice Update

It was looking pretty bad at 5 0'clock. The local news was calling for 1-2 inches of ice in our area. For those of you in warmer areas, ice is a BAD thing. Ice is basically rain that freezes when it hits any and all surfaces. It does not get any worse than ice. Trust me. I used to work for the Highway Dept and would be out there in those plows, salting the roads, and ice is the worst of all frozen precipitation.

Anyway, we started out with freezing rain and had a good (this really means bad) glazing of ice on everything. Then, God answered prayers and it turned to sleet. We've been getting sleet for most of the night and I pray that it will hold out. There is quite a bit of sleet out there, but we are such better shape if we continue to get sleet.

Here's my semi-professional (5 years of Hwy Dept experience) opinion on frozen precipitations...

Not Too Bad - Dry Snow. What is dry snow you might ask? Well, first of all it is not a technical term, just a way to describe snow that blows around and doesn't really stick to anything. Dry snow usually just blows right over the road and doesn't cause many problems at all. Now a lot of dry snow will cause high snow drifts which can be bad. I've seen it drift up to a foot and there be almost nothing else around that drift. Keep in mind, we don't live in a high snowfall area.

Can Get Bad - Wet Snow. Once again, not a technical term. Wet snow is what most people think of when they think of snow. This is the stuff that makes good snowmen and snowballs. You can make snow angels and snow ice cream out of this stuff. It's fun, it's beautiful, it's often dangerous on the roadways. If people would just stay off the roads while it is snowing, the plows could scrap this off with little to no problem. However, everyone thinks they need to be somewhere during a snowfall and they pack the snow down onto the road. Wet snow can pack down to the point of almost becoming ice. Plus, when the snow starts to melt, it can re-freeze overnight and become glazed with ice. None of these are good. Melting slush on the road can pull a vehicle right into the ditch. It's dangerous until it is completely gone.

Bad, Bad, Bad - Sleet. Sleet is small pellets of ice. Once again, if people would stay off the road, it could be scraped off fairly easily, but when packed down becomes ice. The real problem with sleet is it usually comes as part of a mixture with freezing rain. It's not that often that you get just sleet. The mixture does not scrape off the roads easy. Sleet is not fun. No sleetmen or sleet angels. It's dangerous to walk on, and you might fall on your rear end.

Don't Go Outside!! - Freezing Rain. It is what it is. Rain when the temperature outside is below freezing. Let me repeat...Don't Go Outside!!! Unless it is an emergency, there is no reason to be out in this stuff. Going to the coffee shop is not an emergency, getting your mail is not an emergency, cutting off a finger is not an...well, maybe that last one is an emergency. Freezing rain means that ice collects on everything. Yes it is beautiful, but it is not something you want. Ice forms on trees and power lines. Tree limbs falls on power line, power line breaks, no more power. This happens a lot out in the country where there are miles and miles of power lines running through the woods. A quarter inch of freezing rain is more crippling to a small town (or city) than is a foot of snow...trust me. I hear people from northern parts of America making fun of people in our area (S. MO, N. AR, sometimes TX) because everything stops for a little frozen fog. Frozen fog is a glazing of ice on everything. You just cannot have control over a vehicle on that. You can drive through a foot of snow with some chains, a little extra weight and a four-wheel drive vehicle, it's just not the same with ice.

Okay, I guess I'm through dispensing my wisdom...supreme knowledge...somewhat helpful advice. Just be careful out there...no matter what frozen precipitation you may be blessed with.

Maybe This Is Why I Don't Read Your Blog...

The following is meant to be humorous and not insulting...

1. You are unaware of common grammar rules. (FYI: A lot is Two Words and Your does NOT mean You Are).

2. You can’t even be bothered to capitalize I, or your own name (or really anything for that matter).

Both 1 and 2 are very distracting to read. I just can’t take it, maybe because I’m an English Teacher.

3. You haven’t taken the time to personalize your blog and are still using the same boring Blogger template. You could have the best blog in the world, but I’m not going to stick around to find out.

4. You don’t update at least once a week. I got bored. I moved on.

5. Your views make me think you might need a straitjacket.

6. Your blog is all about your kid(s). Like I care; don’t you have a life outside your kid(s)? A two-year-old’s life is not that interesting. (I like kids, but a blog about kids I don't know is not really that interesting. Plus, I think it's dangerous to post pictures of little kids. Some skeezy pedophile might download them.)

7. Your blog is narcissistic. This usually means you have A LOT of pictures of yourself in what you think are sexy poses.

If none of these apply to you, please drop me a note and maybe I’ll swing by and check out your blog.

American Idol Crazies

So...while watching American Idol tonight, I think I might have figured out the conundrum that I had discussed in an earlier post. I had discussed people who cannot sing and not understanding why someone in these people's families don't tell them that they can't sing... Apparently, the family members are just as clueless. I should have guessed as much...I'm sure that being tone deaf probably runs in the family.

The very first girl who auditioned tonight (I believe her name was Tiffany) could not sing her way out of a paper bag. However, her mother went on and on about how great Tiffany was and that she would put on concerts for her mother all the time. You should have seen the rapturous expression on her mother's face while Tiffany was singing. Her father said that Tiffany was "unbelievable"...unbelievably bad. Obviously, the parents are just as clueless and tone deaf as the daughter!

Old People and Candy Wrappers

Sitting in church today, there was an old man behind me opening a candy wrapper. Of course, this took forever and lasted all the way through the prayer...actually, it started before the prayer.

Here's what I think...they can't hear the wrappers and they think they're being quiet. That's why it takes so long for them to open up the freakin' candy...because they are trying to be quiet. They think by slowly opening the wrapper, that they are being quiet. The truth, of course, is the opposite...if they would just open the wrapper quickly, it would all be over with!